A bad smell, bad breath, a weak body, a weak mind, and a lot of lost money. My life feels empty.
I started smoking at 15, while still in school. Back then, it was fun, something "naughty" to do.
Now, at 54, I realize I’ve lost almost everything.
I live in a small room in a storage building. The bike I ride is borrowed from a friend. The car I drive every day is borrowed from another friend.
I own nothing.
My child lives far away after my divorce five years ago. Barely seeing them because I can’t afford to rent a car.
I can’t even afford to go on a date with the girl I like. I’m afraid to ask her out. What if she says yes? What if she ask for this and that?
What has smoking given me? Depression. Deep depression. I hate myself. I lost my confidence.
The habit I once thought was cool has become a burden. That is why I hate myself. I keep puffing even though I know I’m going to lose all my teeth —and I’ve already lost half of them.
Still, I go to the same shop and buy myself a pack, today, yesterday, tomorrow, and every day after. I’m sick of smoking. I’m sick of myself.
Benefits? Yeah.. I’ve lost myself.